Friday, September 17, 2010
Six months has passed since my accident and my tailbone still ache but in time I know the pain will subside if not go away completely. I have been trying to get back into some sort of training lately but find it difficult because I no longer believe it possible to achieve the level of fitness I had before the accident. I know inactivity can be hard on your body but I never thought I would lose nearly all that I had gained over the last couple of years. I have to come to terms with the fact that I have to start over. Running nearly 4 miles on Wednesday was great but afterward I was extremely sore! It’s going to be difficult to train every day or even every other day until my body is ready for longer and harder workouts. I’m sitting here typing wondering where to start so I can continue. In my mind I have a plan laid out for my return but when I try putting on my running shoes, bike shorts, or wet suit I doubt myself greatly. I continuously tell people, mainly co-workers they can run, ride the distance, or swim in the ocean BUT I can’t tell myself that. They often turn down my offer to run or ride with them because they feel they can’t keep up with “the triathlete”. I no longer see myself that way. I wish they knew I needed their help more than they know to give me motivation to be the triathlete they think they see. I love the sport but know it takes a lot out of your life if you want to cross the finish line without passing out and being able to walk the next day. I don’t know what it’s going to take for me to get out of this rut…to be happy in my athletic life. I realize there’s no set thing or word that will snap me out of it but I have faith it’s going to happen eventually.